Whew. This is going to be difficult. Possibly long. You were my best friend for over a decade. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize your toxicity. We had such a perfect relationship (I thought). You let me eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I still remember the days when we would go spend $100 on fast food to-go while everyone was out of the house and we would just binge watch (while bingeing!) our favorite shows and forget about the world and its stressors.

But I can’t think about that anymore. I can’t think about the good times. You ruined every happy memory we have together. For the last eight or nine years, all you did was cause problems in my life and I couldn’t even blame them on you because no one knew about you. You were good at always being around, yet never being seen.

You forced me to throw up close to thirty times a day. It was like the second I swallowed a potato chip, youwould stick your fingers down my throat because it became second nature after so long. You caused me to become falsely diagnosed with a rare blood disorder that meant I had to see a specialist three times per week; my credit score can confirm. They would stick cameras down my throat once a month.

You racked up a $20,000 dental treatment plan. You are the reason I’m coping with chronic pain right now from the erosion of my teeth.

You almost killed me, but I, myself still didn’t dump you. It was an average morning, the average amount (to me) of blood in my vomit until it wasn’t. I’m so fortunate that my best human friend forced me to go to urgent care after throwing up half of a water bottle full of blood. I was then subsequently forced to go to the Emergency Room. You kept telling me ‘lets just go home, they might figure us out’, until the new doctor came in and said, “If you would’ve come in even a day later, you could be dead”.